About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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