dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
So much rum. So many feels.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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