And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
