Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Houston, we have a squirter
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
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