oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize
