Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize