3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
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