She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
