Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
