Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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