Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
