I'd wear matching sweaters with you
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize