It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
it glows. i had to have it.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Randomize
