he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I will be naked everywhere
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
