So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
