Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Randomize