i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
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Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
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I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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