worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
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I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
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I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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