whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Randomize
