Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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