it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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