Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
