Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
