God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize