Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
