My entire life is one complicated drinking game
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
