Your tits are I can't wait for
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Randomize
