I just threw up on my dentist
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
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