i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Randomize