did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Randomize
