Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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