I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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