im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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