I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
