you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
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