smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
They have beer where we have blood.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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