I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
