Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
