While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
