Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
