He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
