ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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