we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I just want to make out with him forever
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
