no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
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