A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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