being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
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I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
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