I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
40s are totally the cure
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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