if i can run in heels then i can drive
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
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