I hate all girls vehemently.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
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