Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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