maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
