The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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