Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
You're like the curious george of whores
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
