I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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