i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
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