**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
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