He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
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...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
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I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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