he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
