cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize
