I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize