Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Randomize
