Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
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